Gather round people, my name is Ed
I’m here to say soory, you’ve all been mislead.
Tony, my leader, my mentor, my God
Was a sneaky, accomplished lying sod.
He said immigration would benefit all,
He said it would see unemployment fall.
He said Saddam was a threat to the West,
He said trust in Labour cos we know best.
His lapdog, Prescott, became his new fag
And he rewarded him with a extra pool Jag.
Then along came Gordon, the Man o’ The Manse,
Who ousted Tony when he saw his chance.
Nothing changed, in fact it got worse
As Gordon emptied the Public Purse
The writing was there, high on the wall
Difficult to see with one eyeball
Even those around ignored the signs
In denial about their fiscal crimes
Then the crash, the Banker’s scandal
Too complex for Gordon to handle
Still they flocked in from the East
Encouraged by tales of a Welfare feast
Gordon huffed and borrowed some more
Whilst keeping open the immigrant door.
But now we’re rebuilding, I’m in charge
My message to you will be writ large
One Nation Labour, here for you
From John o’ Groats to Brighton to Crewe
We’ll control immigration, close the door
Diversity at our very core
Migrant numbers will begin to tumble
My team and I are all feeling humble
Although, in truth, we feel no guilt
For immigration or the debt we built
The EU awaits and we’ll integrate
A referendum will be too late
So to offer one would be a mistake
The decision will be for me to make
So, yes I’m sorry for Labour’s past errors
For the Banking scandal and all the terrors
That resulted from Social engineering
Close to my heart and quite endearing.
Would I repeat it, do it all again?
Would I get on that gravy train?
My answer is, you can trust in me
I’m as Labour as Labour can be
I’ll lead you through the Strasbourg gate
And help you fully integrate
The British people will be ‘old hat’
Our “Diversity” policies saw to that.